Erin Braxton (00:00)

The question that was asked, I literally just left a toxic work environment, what now? And the way we're going to talk about it today is going to be based on two different situations. One, if you left and you planned on it, and one if you left and you have no plan. And a lot of times when you have left a toxic workplace, you feel like a failure, whether you left on your own accord or whether you were terminated, people say, oh, I was let go, you know,

I got a severance package, but you know what? At the end of the day, you were fired, you know? And it's not unusual to take that personal. I definitely took it personal and I was embarrassed, but don't be. It happens to everyone and at the end of the day, God is trying to get you somewhere else. He's trying to like push you out of your comfort zone. What to do if you don't have money saved up? Okay, before you start panicking, I'm not saying to do this, but it's an option if you have these things.

Hey everyone, welcome to the Coffee No Cream podcast. My name is Erin Braxton and I am the host of Coffee No Cream. Here on Coffee No Cream, we are unapologetically dedicated to black women and we share what I like to call Coffee No Cream moments, those things that happen to black women in business and in life just because we are black. Now, we are on episode 20 and I'm super duper excited about that. And you guys have been so supportive in the last, you know, 18, 19 weeks of this podcast.

existence. I wanted to do something a little bit different this episode. I've had direct questions asked of me and you know in the coming weeks we are definitely going to touch on specific topics and ⁓ we're going to take the conversation further. Like it's great to hear people's stories and we're definitely going to continue to do that and learn from that and all of that. But I wanted to address specific topics that we are experiencing going through having to deal with.

as black women and that's gonna be happening going forward. But today, we've got three questions that I wanted to address, especially piggybacking off of last week's episode on when it's time to leave that toxic workplace, episode nine. The three questions that we are going to talk about today and I'm going to answer for you is the first one, someone asked me how do you become an entrepreneur? And they wanted to know, are we gonna talk about how to start working from home?

I'll give you my two cents about that. Everybody's path is different, but I do have some words about it since it is something I have been doing since 2007. ⁓ question. How did you learn tech and what steps did you take? That's an interesting story. I've shared a little bit about it and I'll share what I did and not to convince you guys to go into the tech field because that's, you know, that's very specific. You do what you want to do. You do what you feel God has led you to do and what you're supposed to be doing. But

maybe my story will inspire or evoke some sort of inspiration within you to do something that you want to do, right? And the next thing is, I just left a toxic job, what now? That's a big one. And I'll do my best to give you some words of encouragement and help you navigate this thing right now. So before we get into that, I want to ask that you guys please like, please share, please subscribe. I am so excited about...

everything that's going on, but your support does matter. So please click that subscribe button, share this episode or any of our episodes with anybody who you feel can use them. Also, we have a Facebook community where we like to continue the conversation. Just us Black women.

A lot of times these comment sections can get pretty heated and we get a lot of trolls. So we have safe place for safe conversation. Everybody cannot come online and discuss their business in front of everyone. So we want to continue the conversation there. And I think that's it. So with that said, let's get into the episode. So first I want to talk about the question that was asked. I literally just left a toxic work environment. What now?

First of all, let me just say congratulations. Congratulations. And I don't know how you feel right now in this moment. I want to say to you, if you're excited about it, I'm excited with you. If you're upset about it, stressed out about it, traumatized behind it, I want to say more and better is on the way. I don't want to diminish what you might be going through because there are a lot of emotions that come with leaving a toxic workplace.

There are people who've wanted to appear on the podcast, but they cannot bring themselves to talk about what they've been through yet. So I wasn't privy to any of the specifics. And the way we're gonna talk about it today is going to be based on two different situations. One, if you left and you planned on it, and one, if you left and you have no plan, okay? I know sometimes it doesn't feel like

congratulations are in order because of the mental toll that a toxic work environment can have on you. But I promise you, I promise you that whatever God has for you, whatever the universe has for you is better than what you just left, okay? I promise you that. And a lot of times, you know, we can't see where we're going until we're there. So we can look back and connect the dots. But a lot of times when we're in the midst of it,

it's really hard to understand what message it is that we're trying to be told, what we need to learn from it. So let me give you a few things and a few tools. Let's start with if you planned it, okay? So I talk about this in episode 19 last week. If you plan to leave, I always say get your emergency fund, your escape fund together. Sometimes things don't happen in a linear way.

As you guys might know from listening to my story, I did not have an escape fund. I was horrible with my money because I was in a job that I hated so much and I couldn't stand those people. So I was just throwing money, throwing money at my clothing line business. So I was completely without real cashflow when I left my job. So I didn't have a lot of money and I had already started to tap into my retirement. Okay. So if you planned on leaving,

and you have a little cushion and a minute before you are going to be out of money, you're in obviously a better place. So I urge you to take a beat, take a minute and center yourself and use this as a reset time. Okay. You know, a lot of times we're so pissed and angry and you just want to show these people, you know, F you, can go get another job or whatever. And it doesn't always happen like that. Sometimes your job isn't coming right away.

Sometimes a job isn't coming if I'm being honest. A lot of times these sorts of situations are what lead us black women into entrepreneurship, which is it isn't a bad thing. It could be a huge blessing. Okay, so use this time to figure out yourself center yourself. If you still have got health care hold on for dear life to that therapist and make sure you are working through whatever it is that you went through at that toxic workplace.

while you have that, okay? This is very, very important because it's really easy to spin and spiral, well, funnel down into a depression, right? This is a big life change. They say divorce, babies, marriage, losing your job, moving. Those are big things that you have to deal with in life. This is a big change for you because again, we're at work most of the time. We are with people that we work with most of the time.

And a lot of times when you have left a toxic workplace, you feel like a failure, whether you left on your own accord or whether you were terminated, you feel like a failure, you feel like you did something wrong, you take it personal. I am telling you, it is not you, okay? I am telling you, God has a better plan for you. I don't know what that plan is, you might not know what that plan is.

But what you do need to do is take a moment to get yourself centered. Okay. Get your community together. Okay. If you have toxic friends or toxic family, you're going to have to push them to the side. If you have loving, wonderful family and friends, get into them, right? Get into them. You know, it's okay to need help emotionally, you know, and I think, ⁓ losing a job for me took such a toll on me emotionally because when I left, I felt like such a failure. I was so angry.

Yeah, and I just took it personal. I had to deal with a lot of professional self-worth issues. So you need to take the time to work that stuff out. Tap into your creativity. Don't be in such a hurry to go back to work if you can take a little bit of some time for yourself and figure out exactly what it is you want to do. Now, the person who left this comment said, now what? So I'm assuming that they don't know what they're going to do. You know, take that time to meditate, to discover yourself, to do something creative, you know.

to get all the BS together that you couldn't get together while you were working together. You know, maybe get your house together, get things in order, do some of the things that like are low levels of stress in your life that you didn't have the chance to address while you were working in that toxic place. Don't be in such a rush to go back into another one. And listen to the signs. I would strongly recommend that you start moving around, you start walking, doing those things that are healthy for yourself because

All of that is going to generate your brain creativity, like the endorphins, that sort of thing. I come up with my best ideas when I'm walking or in the shower, when I'm creative and I'm not worried about money. I'm really able to tap into what I want to do in my life and come up with some really good game plans. When I left my toxic workplace, my ego was very much involved. I was very embarrassed. Like I said, I took it very personal.

People say, I was let go, you know, I got a severance package, but you know what? At the end of the day, you were fired, you know, and it's not unusual to take that personal, especially if you've never been let go before. So I definitely took it personal and I was embarrassed, but don't be. It happens to everyone. And at the end of the day, God is trying to get you somewhere else. He's trying to like push you out of your comfort zone. And I am so grateful for that myself because I think about it.

and let go from those jobs. Would I still be in those jobs? Miserable. I might have. Like sometimes that's just like the push that you needed to get your ass up and go. like get you to start the business. To get you to do the thing. To get you to take the course. To certify yourself. To just improve yourself so you can be open to better opportunity. Okay? Now let me talk a minute about what to do if you don't have money saved up.

Okay, before you start panicking, it's definitely stressful not to have money. When you don't have money, all you can think about is not having money. If you were let go and you were like me and you didn't have like an emergency fund set and you don't have money set aside, it can be extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely stressful. Okay? Now, worst case scenario, if you worked in corporate, most likely if you have no money, okay, and you have no prospects for a job,

and you know, the economy is tight, whatever. You can't find anything. I'm not saying to do this, but it's an option if you have these things, if you have these things. Your 401k, IRA, your retirement, okay, I'm not saying go through all of it. There are repercussions to taking that money when you are under 59 and a half, but it is something that I did when I left my toxic advertising agency. I think I had about

$65,000 in retirement and I went through that money obviously because I bankruptcy later and that's how I was living. That was not my plan, but that money was there and I was young enough at the time, like 32 to rebuild, okay? So it wasn't the end of the world. That's something you can do. I'm not telling you to do that. I'm not a financial expert, but if you don't have any other money, you do have that money. You will be penalized for it come tax time.

but you're not completely broke. So that's something to think about. Another way that you might not have thought about if you have a life insurance policy, a lot of times you earn dividends and you can just request to withdraw that money if you have it. A lot of times you can take a low interest loan on that money, like two to 4%. I have done that, okay, with insurance policies. It's there if you need it, okay? I'm not telling you to do that, but if...

If something happens, that's money that you have, that you've been paying into, that you are not destitute and you don't have to lose your home or your car. You you've got kids to take care of. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. So those are some options. And if you have those as options, you have to make the decision to do that and maybe take a minute to think.

and clear your mind and get your mind right because if you were terminated unexpectedly and you don't have any money, you still are dealing with the emotional toll of being terminated. So you're still dealing with the embarrassment and the professional self-worth issues and all of the things that anybody else would be dealing with. But even more so because you got terminated and you weren't prepared and the stress of not having money is unlike

any other stress because all you can see is money. All you can see is money. When you don't have any money, that's all you see. If somebody is getting gas, you're just like, God, I gotta get gas soon. And you're looking at them. If somebody wants to go to dinner, if somebody wants to do anything, if you don't have any money, that's all you're thinking about. Believe me, I've been there, right? So you've got to kind of quickly figure out the money situations. You've got to figure it out. But if you have some money,

that can get you through for the next month or two, you can pull a little bit of money out and know that you're gonna take the hit on your taxes, at least the money is there, okay? So that puts you in a better position because you you don't wanna lose your home and your car and all of the things. Same thing, you are in a bit of a more immediate situation because you do need to find that next paycheck. So tap into your friends and your family and everyone. Don't have an ego, let everyone know, and this is for

whether you had money set aside or not. Let people know where you're at. Let people know what you're doing, that you're looking, this is what I've got going on. Tap into those resources. Utilize your network, okay? I cannot tell you how much work I have gotten from people because we are friends or acquaintances and they know what it is I do. I tried to start a YouTube channel so many times, but I was so, you know,

holding everything so close to the vest, not wanting anybody to know what it was I did and I wasn't like doing my promotion, right? So network, let people know where you are, right? Let everyone know where you are. So it's not anything that you should be embarrassed about, okay? You've got to make your ends meet, okay? So maybe you're not gonna go back into another six figure job, but you will get something that you can...

help you meet your ends, that is temporary. Okay? So don't be ashamed, don't be embarrassed, let the ego go, okay? Get some sort of money coming in for the next month or two. If you have to tap into accounts that you don't wanna tap into, shit happens, but at least it's there, so that you can take a minute to figure out what you wanna do. So you can do the same thing that you would do if you did have the emergency fund. Center yourself, figure your shit out, take a minute.

Take a breath, take a beat, okay? Because the last thing you wanna do is go from one toxic workplace to another. So those are the things I would do immediately. I would say no matter what the situation is that you're in, find some sort of creative outlet. You've got the time right now, you're not at work, okay? You're not gonna be looking for a job from nine to five every day. So find something that really is a creative outlet for you. When I'm creative, my mind is like on fire.

When I'm creative, it helps me think. When I'm creative, it helps me not to stress. I suffer from anxiety. I've said this a million times, right? If I'm working on some home improvement project that I've got going on over here, or I get to work on this podcast, which is like a passion project for me, I'm not thinking about my problems. So, I know you can't do that all the time, but utilize some of your day to do something creative.

Exercise, move your body, get up, don't sit on the couch, don't spiral into a Netflix tunnel of doom, right? Yeah, cool, you can watch a few shows, you can catch up on some series, but get your ass up, go work out, move your body, walk around the neighborhood. Even as we get cold outside, get outside, the juice is flowing. It is so important that you don't fall into a depression, okay?

And again, if you feel like you're doing that or you're headed that way, tap into your community, tap into your therapist, tap into your family and your friends and your loved ones, okay? But stay actively doing something because I promise you, you're going to be less likely to fall into those depressive states, allow that anxiety to overwhelm you and take hold of you. Keep the creativity and the juices flowing. Let everybody know, don't let the ego get in the way, okay?

So that's what's next. Now, if you have more specific questions than that, please ask me, leave a comment below, join me in the Facebook group and ask me, you know? But that's what I would say to do immediately, okay? The next thing I wanna talk about is what if you wanna become an entrepreneur? Because a lot of times leaving these toxic workplaces and being, you know, shown the door is just the thing that pushes us into becoming an entrepreneur.

And a lot of times you can't see it. I had no idea I was going to end up doing tech. Okay. None. I didn't know what I was going to do really. After I went bankrupt and you know, the clothing line went down. I was sitting around for like a whole year, not knowing what to do. My dad was pissed at me because he paid my rent for an entire year. Okay. So I'm going to talk about being an entrepreneur and how I got into being an entrepreneur in the same

kind of story. So I had a dream one day, I think I've told this story before, and the dream was I was going to have an online business to help black women find a hairstylist. And when I woke up from the dream, I remembered the dream. And then I was like, I got to do this. I thought I was like, my God, this is the best idea ever. It was going to be like a Yelp for black women to get their hair done. Right. So, you know, people are going to be able to go on and review people and rate them on

professionalism and ⁓ know, timeliness and skills. And it was called, I Need A Black Hairstylist.com. Only problem was, didn't know how to build websites. This is before Erin was in tech. So what did Erin do? Erin started reaching out to different people, trying to like source people who can help her build this website. And long story short, I finally got in touch with somebody who did that and he was very useful and he said, you know what?

Why don't you try to build it on WordPress? And I was like WordPress, WordPress is just for blogs. I don't want to do WordPress. And he's like, no, actually that's not true. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So he said that and that's all you needed to tell me. It was like a challenge. It was like a project, right? And what I say last week, if you're going to be an entrepreneur, whatever you decide to do, you have to be hella passionate about that thing. Because if you're not passionate about it, that's not going to get you through. That's not going to get you through to the finish line.

and I was super passionate about it. And it was a way for me to get to be creative. I found an illustrator who could draw photos for me or draw illustrations of all these different black women that I can use and, you know, on the website. And I had to like figure out like how I was gonna build a WordPress site with no experience. And for me, that was my jam. And I had the time. I wasn't working. I didn't have anything to do. So I could use my downtime

to sit there and learn how to do it. So I did. And I had a little help and a little money coming here and there where I was able to hire a couple people to like do some things for me and teach me. But really it was me just like dedicated to that thing, looking at the computer, trial and error until I finally got that website done. So it had all the things. I was able to be creative. So I wasn't focusing on my anxiety and my lack at that time. I was able to learn something which is

Like for me, I'm like a life learner and it was a challenge. So I had all the things going to help me kind of stay inspired and keep moving. Right. So that's how I kind of got into learning how to build websites. And then, you know, my friend had a friend in town from Hong Kong. She was a private chef. She needed a website. They called me. I helped her do her website. Then a old client of mine had a lingerie and swim boutique.

that she had and she wanted a website and she allowed me to learn on her. I offered her some like crazy stupid discount. I did it for like $500 and then mine do this like 2013 or something like that. And I was, you know, a little insecure because I was learning, but I built an e-commerce site for her. I was able to do all my creative stuff and I was just like in heaven. And before you know it, I was getting clients. So I would go on to Upwork and ⁓

bit on jobs and I would go into Craigslist. I found clients that way. So those are the things that we were working with back then and I was able to build my business. That big toxic client that I got, how I got them was through a referral. Their assistant knew somebody that a friend of mine knew and it turned into like an 11-year relationship and then,

I would work with one person and they would refer me and that's how the business started and that's how the rebel geek was formed. So really I kind of stumbled into that business, but I really, really enjoyed it. I do enjoy it. And then I was able to, you know, pull out a niche, a specialty within that business. So when things didn't go right in my life, I did stew and spend for all of 2012. It was the worst year of my life, right? Cause I had filed bankruptcy, had no money, had no credit.

I didn't know what I was going to do. And then I had a dream about a website and I was able to build a business out of necessity. So I realized I could make money building websites for people. And so for those of you who are thinking, okay, maybe I could go into business doing something. Maybe for you, it could be a side hustle at first if you're still working and you could make some money on the side. The plan.

always was when I was working at the ad agency and my dad told me he did this because he, you know, had his auto body shop and when he was working for ⁓ an auto body shop before he went out and got his own auto body shop, he started hustling and working on the side and as soon as he made as much money with his side hustle as his main hustle, then he left. So that might be a way for you to ease into entrepreneurship, but I cannot say it loud enough. You

have to be passionate about whatever it is you want to do or it's not gonna happen, right? Even to this day, I'm super excited because I am pitching a new project to a client in the next couple of weeks and it's gonna be totally geeky and sexy to me, but I love tech like that and I'm such a dork and I'm such a geek. ⁓ I'm so into it and that's why I'm able to keep pushing and moving forward.

This podcast is another thing. I'm so into it. I've got so many things planned for you. So one of the things I also wanted to mention while you have the time when you're working or when you're out of work, take that as an opportunity to learn, take courses if you can. I actually have a product. I have something coming for you guys and I'll throw some screenshots in here right now where I'll just, let me just show you. We're launching it on October 1st, but it is

a free resource tool that has right now over a thousand free courses. And these are like secondary education courses. And I've consolidated them all in a database on the coffee, no cream website. So you guys can come to it, search the course that you're looking for, see what's out there, see what's available and take that course for free. So when I tell you I am like a life learner, I am right there.

tons of free options out here and this is exactly what the tool is going to do for you. Basically, you'll just have access to come in and search around for the courses that would interest you or that you would want. Now, once you click on or you get to the website, you'll see that you can sort by institution, order A to Z, skill level. One thing that I realized that I need to put on here and I'm going to

work on that this week because we are launching this on October 1st, is that it would be great to be able to search by category and we don't have that. You can get the category. So like say we click into the course and you can see that this is the business entrepreneur category. It has an introductory level of, skill level of introductory. It's available anytime and it's a webinar e-course, which is really super cool.

and it's self-paced, it's at Harvard, and this is a free certificate course. ⁓ we have free certificate courses. There are courses that you can take for free that are paid certificates, but you can take the course for free. And then of course, you can just click on the Learn More and it will take you directly to the link at Harvard where you can register for the class. So we're doing...

All of that, we're putting all of this together and super duper excited. So just making some tweaks, but it will look something along this line. So stay tuned, super excited for that. So anyway, that's coming on October 1st. So if that's something you're interested in, I'll leave a link below and you can get on the wait list and I will notify you just as soon as we are live with it. Courses, certifications, things that you didn't have chance to do, this is the time to do it, right?

And when I was starting my business and when I was learning and I was doing all the things, I was also constantly trying to improve. So when I tell you I am, I am one who loves a coach. I love a coach. So being an entrepreneur isn't easy. Everybody claims they're an entrepreneur, but a lot of times people just have hustles. I am a very coachable person. I have had a coach for everything. I had a productivity coach. I had a WordPress consultant coach.

or I was in like a big cohort with all these WordPress consultants back in the day that helped me tremendously with my business. That program cost me, I can't remember, it cost me like $3,000, but off the rip from the very beginning, I think that guy said something to me and I was able to make like $8,000 from a current client I had like immediately because he gave me a tip. So investing in coaching and help,

when you're trying to start your business. A lot of people are like super cheap about it. They think they, you know, I don't want to pay for that. I want to do that. You know what? You don't know everything. You know what you know. You know what you know. So for the things that you don't know, if there's somebody else out there who knows more than you know about a thing and you're trying to get yourself from here to here without like, you know, it taking all day, hire a coach if you can afford it. I highly recommend it.

I am the queen of getting a coach. I've done public speaking programs. I've done course launch programs. I am the one to get a coach. Now, find a good coach. Don't just get anybody, because a lot of people are out here selling some bullshit. But where you lack, find help. Find the resources, right? And then start off small. You don't have to start off trying to conquer the world or try to prove anything to anybody.

I think the beauty of being an entrepreneur now is you can start off small and there's no shame in your game for saying, go at home office, I work from home. I remember when I had my clothing line and I was out in LA and everybody was getting office space and I remember this one girl got office space because her husband got her an office space and I was like, my God, this is so cool. She wasn't doing shit. She didn't need an office, right? You don't need one either. Everybody's remote anyway. You want to work remote when you work for somebody else.

handle it remotely, just start it off as a side hustle, right? And give yourself a plan and commit to it, right? I think it's easy for a lot of people to say they wanna be an influencer or have a TikTok or Instagram or YouTube. It's a lot of work, a lot, a lot. So I don't say that to discourage you. I'm just saying, give yourself some grace too, because all of this stuff is still a learning curve.

When you work for like a big organization, you probably do one thing, right? When you have your own business, you gotta do everything. And you also have to decide what you're not gonna do, right? For me, I'm not gonna do my books. I'm not gonna do it. I have a bookkeeper though. My bookkeeper does my books. I don't care how many times I've bought all the, know, software. I'm like, I'm gonna reconcile my book. I'm not gonna do that. That's just not gonna be me. So, you know, figure out.

What it is you don't do, don't be afraid to ask for help, get the help you need. I hope this was helpful for somebody because leaving toxic workplaces, deciding to step out on faith, becoming an entrepreneur, it's not for the faint at heart. It definitely takes, it takes courage. And if that's not something you're interested in, don't do it, right? Even if you step out on faith and you leave a toxic workplace in an effort to find a better situation.

do that, right? But again, that still takes courage. Maybe being an entrepreneur is not for you. Maybe it is. Maybe it's temporary until you can find something. There's so many different ways. Everybody doesn't have the same path. But I hope me sharing, you know, some of my journey and how I did things can give you encouragement so that, you know, we can just stay in love with ourselves as we go on this journey. And I think that's the biggest, the biggest takeaway is that

You know, no matter what it is we decide to do, even if we, you know, somebody fires us or somebody tells us they don't want us to work for them anymore. We still love ourselves enough to not let that affect us and take us out. If we ⁓ start a business, we love ourselves to take care of ourselves and our family and, you know, our mind and our, you know, our emotions and our wellbeing. We love ourselves along the way. Even if we start a business, if it works, doesn't.

If it doesn't, fine. We love ourselves. That's what it's all about. This journey in life is just, it's so crazy and everybody's is different. But you know, that's the whole point of the community to be here to help each other navigate through it. So that's it guys. Thank you guys so much for joining me and definitely leave me a comment question or something you want to talk about and feature episodes. Cause I do read them. Like I analyze the comments and all the things.

because I want to know and I want to make sure that this channel is useful to you guys. So next week, we're going to have our first panel discussion, which is going to be really exciting. So I can't wait. ⁓ yeah. So guys, thank you so much for joining me today and I will see you in the next episode.