Erin Braxton (00:00)

I started coffee no cream at the age of 50. And it took me until that big old age to figure out this is the direction I wanted to go. A lot of times at age 50, I'm 52 now, we believe that it's too late. We have missed the boat.

Even as black women, because people say black don't crack, but it certainly does something, we start to change in our physical appearance. We don't look as fresh and as as young and vibrant as we once did. So starting something, making changes at this age when we know age discrimination is a thing, we know racial discrimination is a thing, is difficult. Yes, many of us have multiple degrees.

Many of us have amazing jobs, but every time we we we we hit one of those achievements and we think, okay, we're checking it off the list and we're gonna feel like fulfilled and and accomplished, maybe we're not. We've been conditioned to feel like we should have reached certain achievements by a certain age. Maybe you wanted to have a family and

Kids and a husband, and you didn't get a chance to do that, and you feel like you missed your shot. Maybe you did have a kid and and a husband and you don't feel fulfilled. Maybe you have multiple degrees and something's still missing. Maybe you have a great multi-six-figure income and you still dread going into work. You don't feel satisfied in that.

We need to redefine what it looks like to do what and when. Today I want to talk about what it looks like to do something that nobody else is doing around you, that you've always wanted to do, to try to achieve and grab those goals that you maybe set for yourself many, many years ago that you just put aside and and didn't go back to. So before we get into it.

Welcome to the Coffee No Cream Podcast. My name is Erin Braxton and I am the host of Coffee No Cream. Here on Coffee No Cream, we are unapologetically dedicated to Black women and we share what I like to call Coffee No Cream moments, those things that happen to us black women in business and in life just because we are Black women. If you're liking what you're hearing so far, just make sure you like, you share, you subscribe. I think it's really important to have a community such as this. We have a Facebook group.

We have educational resources where you can level up for free. I'm gonna put all that information below, but let's just get into this whole thinking the window has passed. Okay. Now, I don't know about you girls, you women who are 40 plus years old, might even be 35 years old, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, and you feel like the window has passed. The window has

has closed. The sun is setting on what it is you can possibly do. All right. When I started Coffee No Cream.

I had an epiphany, I had an idea, and like I said, it was starting to to to tear me up inside to not do something with that. Now, again, I was I I came up with the idea when I was forty-nine because I'd always wanted to have a YouTube channel. And I've started a couple of them. If you were to search me, I've started a couple of them.

And I just lost steam and momentum for them because I honestly don't feel like that was what I was supposed to be doing. I couldn't I couldn't find my way with those topics, but the lived experience that I've had, the passion that I have when I talk to friends or people would call me and want to talk to me about what it is they were going through, even just the wisdom that I get from my eighty now eighty-two year old father.

And the way that I've chosen to make moves in my life for the good or bad has really helped me.

come up with or or or realize that, you know, I wanted to share that. I wanted to have other black women in my circle that had had similar experiences. So for those of you who do not know, I am single. I have never been married. I do not have children. I I I always thought I might have children.

But I didn't end up having children. I remember talking to one of my best friend when I was in my twenties, telling her that I didn't want children. And she's like, Yes, you do. Yes, you do. And I and I was like, No, I don't. And then I panicked when I was in my early 40s. And thank God I didn't do that with the wrong person, right? I was I was panicked thinking, my God, the window's closing. I've got to do this.

Only because I felt pressure, just because you know, you're getting older. You're not gonna be able to have kids. This is not something you can, you know, put off for later. And I felt like, my god, I'm missing the boat, but soon I got over that and thank God. 'cause I could have been really messed up in a situation with a person that I shouldn't have been involved with, right? But maybe you didn't get that dream in.

you know, like me. Maybe you never wanted children. Maybe you did want children and you didn't get children. Maybe you've always wanted to do something and you haven't done it. Maybe you feel frustrated and you feel how do I say you feel discouraged because you're stuck. You're frozen and paralyzed because all you can do

Is like look at everybody on social media do their thing and you feel like they're doing their thing and I'm not doing my thing and you're constantly getting ready to get ready and you haven't done what you want to do. And now you feel like you've gotten to an age where you're just it's over. You it you you don't you should have done that, you know, five years ago or ten years ago. But all I have to say about that.

I started this podcast at 50, 50 and a half, 50 and two-thirds, or whatever I was. I'm 52 now. I have created, or I've created a community on YouTube. I have gotten to 13,000 subscribers. Yay. I'm very excited, excited about that. I actually got to 10,000 in under a year. And

If I wouldn't have started that podcast in May of 2025, where would I be now? I would be nowhere. And I would be that much further away from what it is that I feel like fills me up, that brings me joy. Like I said, and you've heard me say on the podcast before, I thought I was gonna be a black Barbara Walters, aside from the fact that I did not like news. I did not like current events. I like talking. I like communicating. I like

being in conversation with black women and the medium of podcasting was not available to me when I graduated from the School of Journalism at the University of Missouri in nineteen ninety six. It's available to me now and I'm so very grateful that I've taken advantage of everything that's available to me. When I built this room, because I record I'm actually in a

I'm actually in this little room in my basement and I built a recording room. And when I built the recording room, I envisioned that I was gonna be doing voiceover work in this room because I started doing voiceover for clients at one point and I needed a room where I could get clean, clear audio. And instead I built this room and had this idea for a podcast, and this is the room that I record from, you know, and

I'm like, you're seeing like more of it. It's kind of a very tight room. It's like under my my porch. It's a room kind of like off the back of my basement. But it's a perfect spot. I I I didn't even dream of this. I didn't think of this. It is a room that I've got plans for. I'm like thinking of ways to like jazz it up and change my

environment and and and and you know just give it a little bit more personality but we start where we start and we do what we do and if I can I'll take pictures and I'll I'll show you guys. There's like lights everywhere. you know my computer, tripod, you know, got the mic obviously as you see. But I didn't have much to start with. It's not like I wasn't making money and I couldn't

buy the things, but I've bought so many things. You know, even right now I want a new camera. I want a camera. It's probably gonna cost me, I don't know, two grand when I finish getting the camera and the lens setup that I want. But I already have a DSLR camera because I tried to start before and I didn't. And you know, I actually am just recording, I use a web camera.

Not the camera on my computer, but a separate web camera on a tripod and my whole setup. Maybe one day I'll share it with you guys. I had some knowledge. I knew how to edit videos. I had experience doing that. I had experience editing voice and getting good audio. So I just said, what the hell? And I did that, right? So I want to give you guys just five ways to begin to make.

your second act, your third act, your fourth act, whatever season of life you're in, a success and what it is you want to do. Okay? So let's start with the first one. You gotta stop asking yourself if you're too old. I have a friend I was talking to actually the other day, and she she wanted to go to law school. She said if she were ten years younger she would go to law school.

And you know, maybe she really doesn't want to go to law school, right? You've gotta stop saying that you're too old to do things. You've gotta stop it. I mean in every single way. You're too old to wear this, you're too old to do this, you're too old to go there, you're too old, you don't have time. What what what what else do you have to do? Like I said, I started a year and a half ago. If I wouldn't have started a year and a half ago, that's a year and a half further away from

Where I am right now. Maybe it wasn't the right time to start right now. Maybe a year and a half ago was my time. If you have something yearning inside of you that you want to do, whether that's go back to school, whether that's start a business, whether that's take up a hobby, do it. Do it. Either way, whatever it is, start. Just start. I'm telling you, you're not too old. 40, 50, 60, hell, 70, 80.

It's not what it was when our parents and our grandparents were that age. When I think about how old acting my grandparents were, even my mother at certain points, she just seems very mature. Maybe I'm just a unserious person. Sometimes I am, but I'm serious and I and I and I'm I'm I'm very on what I am on. But I I, you know, we just have more available to us. So

You're not too old. You've gotta you just go for that shit. Just go for it, right? To pay attention to what's pulling you back or holding you back. For me, starting this podcast, I had imposter syndrome. You know, I've got a lot of life experience. I got a lot of things to say, but then you see other people and they're sitting up here so confidently, like they've mastered, you know, all the things and you should listen to them and

What would anybody want to hear from me? I had all that. I went through all that in my mind, right? That held me back for so long, worried about what people would say and would think. And the whole time, like I said, I was just getting older. You know, I worry about what people are gonna say about the words coming out of my mouth, my my opinions on things, the way I look, you know, all of these things. People are gonna say it. They're gonna say something about whatever it is you choose to do.

You don't have to be a creator. You don't have to sit in front of a camera. But what is holding you back to f the fear of the unknown? Do you think you're gonna be able to keep up? You know, what is holding you back? Hell, tomorrow, this video is airing on Wednesday, Octo no, Wednesday, September thirtieth. Tomorrow is the first day of my woodworking classes that I signed up for. I wanna build

my kitchen cabinets, I think. I see these girls do it. I wanna do it. I'm stepping out there. I'm doing it. I'm taking the first step. Let me just say that. Okay. do I have like every I have a lot of I have a lot of power tools. Not only have I purchased them myself, my father, when he retired, gave me a lot of his power tools. I have tons of shit down here. I want to

Build things with my hands. It's a way for me to relax. It's a hobby that I have decided to take on. I like using my hands. I like doing little wood projects. It's always fascinated me. So, you know what? I found out that there is a woodworking school in St. Louis where people travel from all around the country. Maybe the world. I don't know for sure the world, but

They come to become master carpenters. Do I want to become a master carpenter? No, I do not. But do I want to learn how to use some some tools and build some shit without cutting off my fingers? Yes, I do. It interests me. My father and I replaced all of the doors in my 80, how old is my house? 86 year old house with solid wood doors that I order from somewhere.

And we re-hung them and everything. It was woodwork, but I got in there and I did it. And I know that's something that I would like to do. I know I want a really expensive kitchen and a really expensive house that I don't really want to pay crazy, crazy money for. So I said, Well, you know what? I can do it myself. So what is it that is holding you back? Is it not knowing how to do what it is you want to do? Is it

The fear of doing it and not doing it well.

So what can we do to shut off that noise? I don't know how to build kitchen cabinets, so I'm gonna go learn how to build them, right? I didn't know how to hang those doors, but my dad and I got in there, he did, and we did that. I didn't know how to podcast, but I got over here and I did that. And now look at me. I'm sitting here talking to you now if you're still listening. All right. Next. Stop requiring everything that you

could potentially do that you want to do to immediately make you money. Now I know sometimes they're desperate situations and you need to make money. I get that. But in order to find true happiness and true joy, sometimes you have to put in the work. And you may make money from it one day. Maybe you don't want to make money or you don't care to make money from it.

Like I just told you, six thousand dollars total I have made from this podcast. I have not made a ton of money doing this podcast. And there's more fulfillment that I get. I have I have created an amazing network of black women that I now know that I didn't know before. I have gained confidence. I have gained skills. Just sitting here and talking to you guys, just creating a catalog of work. These are things I wouldn't have.

gotten if I just sat on my ass and I didn't do anything. So me not, you know, needing to make, you know, six figures podcasting yet.

It's it it works for me because I have another company. and the end goal for the podcast isn't necessarily to monetize and to get you guys to buy courses from me and buy things from me. I mean, there may be a course one day, there may be some digital products, but I haven't really landed on what that needs to be. So right now there are none and I'm still coming to you every single week.

This is episode 67. Okay. And I just find so much joy in it, right? It brings me a level of accomplishment that I wasn't getting working for people, running my own business every single day for the last how long have I been in business for myself? Since 2004. So over 20 years. So I had to find something that

I had to find something that gave me what I was missing. So I always find things to do. What is your thing? What is something that you want to do? And what is something that you want to do that if you don't make money from the jump, that you would still do and you would still find joy in? Fourth thing I want you guys to consider. Don't confuse a successful life.

With a finished life. For all intents and purposes, I'm a successful person. Could I have more money saved? Yes. Could I have more retirement? Yes. could I have a bigger house? Yes. Could I have a fancier car? Yes, I could. But I have a pretty nice car and I have a really cute house and I have money saved. And I I have a business and a career, but

It's not enough sometimes. I'm not finished. I have so many other things I want to do. Not only do I wanna do things in my house, starting with this recording studio room right here, but I also want to travel. I wanna have experiences. I I wanna I wanna achieve greater accomplishments in this particular effort, in my business, in the podcast.

I'm not finished. I'm successful. I've achieved a lot. But, you know, a lot of times you guys think, well, you know, I have everything I need. I have what I want. I have the clothes. I have the bag. And I have the job. I make, you know, this much money. And, you know, I'm doing this and this and that. And that's all great. But are you happy? Are you buying all the clothes and the bags and the cars to overcompensate for a hole that's in your

That's missing like a an empty hole in your life. You know, I I shop my feelings too. Just sometimes we eat our feelings. I shop my feelings. I shop my feelings and I eat my feelings. But having all the things doesn't mean you're happy, right? You're successful. You can have all the things. But are you finished? Is there something left that you want to do? And this is a big one. The fifth one, the final one is.

You've got to give yourself permission at the big old age that you are, or not if you're not at such a big age as me. You have to give yourself permission to be a beginner at something. I am not on the level of you know success in this particular journey as.

people who are my age as people who are younger than me. Hell, a lot of people. I'm a significant age, you know, there are things that you see other people accomplishing and you feel like, you know, you've missed the boat on that because here you come and at your age and you are starting off like some newbie, like some baby. So what is wrong with that? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I I

personally love to be around younger people for this reason. They always have their finger on the pulse of some stuff you don't know shit about. They can tell you what's going on. They're they're they're more they're more hopeful and idealistic about life. You know, there's a lot of reasons to

Be around younger people who have newer, fresher ideas. And they can help you as a beginner. I can learn a lot from younger people. It's okay that I'm 52 and I don't know everything about content creation. Let me go ask that younger person what I need to do. Let me let me tap into them. You know, I'm new, but I also have a lot of experience overworking for the past what?

30 years that will help me get there faster, right? It's not it's not like being a beginner straight out of college or straight into the workforce. You have a lot to offer. You can't be like weird about that or like ashamed about that. I I I'm not, you know, I'm a beginner. I'm new and it's exciting. And one thing I can say is having grown

this podcast and starting at 50 and grown it to the relatively small I guess they call me a micro influencer with this many people on YouTube. I don't really know or care. people are starting to respond to it. When I contact people now, people are responding to me, wanting to come on, people are contacting me wanting to come on. So I'm creating something and

I'm just that much closer to whatever goal it is I'm trying to reach in the future that than I was when I started with zero. I had no followers. Of course, after the first little bit, when you tell all of your friends, hey, hey, go watch my cop podcast. Go, go, go subscribe. That's all cute and stuff like that for the first five minutes, but those people are likely gonna fall off. They're not gonna support you the way you think.

So you just have to get into you, get into what it is you want to do and and and and lift yourself up. You can't be looking to other people. You're a beginner, true. But who cares? What does it matter? You're only going to be a beginner for five minutes, and then you're not going to be a beginner. Right? And then you're you're like a little novice. And then you get to the intermediate level, and then you get to the advanced level. And the next thing you know, you've done it. You've done it.

So again, I started Coffee No Cream at 50 years old and it's making a difference. People are enjoying it. Do people comment say shitty things in my comments? Yes, they do. Do people

Do people give me advice and and and and and sit back and become like keyboard warriors from the the sidelines? Yes they do. Is it

difficult to take that sometimes? I I wouldn't say so. I get a little pissed off, but I knew it was coming. That's another thing about being older. Like you can take more. Like that little bullshit that would have bothered me if I were doing this as a, you know, 25 year old person, it it doesn't matter. You know, I I'm less affected by it. You know, I I haven't r achieved like super high numbers, but

You know, I'm being prepped and prepared because I do get some heat up here talking to you guys and and and bringing the guests that I bring to you and saying some of the things that I say. So I just wanted to talk about that because we've talked about pivoting, we've talked about we've talked about code switching in the last few weeks, we've talked about the influence of certain types of men in our lives as black women.

That can hold us back. And there's so many, there's so many things that can mess you up and and screw you up in your head. And we can hold on to those things. And they prevent us previous experiences, current experiences, friends, family, loved ones, they can prevent us from finding joy and doing the things that really fulfill us. And I'm here to say it doesn't matter how old you are.

How much time you wasted with that asshole, how much time you spent on that job where they didn't appreciate you, how much time you gave to people who didn't reciprocate. It's time to give to you now. So at this big old age, that's what I'm finding joy in. And you can start something too. You can do something too. And I hope you do. I want you to leave me some some messages in the comments and tell me.

what you're doing. People are like pivot, pivot, pivot. And I've talked about pivot. And you can pivot your career. You can pivot into getting into yourself, finding joy in a new venture, a new hobby, a new job, whatever it is. What are you doing to find joy and in your second act or your third act? What are what are you doing? How are you not letting the clock ticking slow you down?

There's nothing I cannot stand worse than when I see older people who have completely lost their zest for life. And I get that certain shit happens to us and that, you know, things can knock you down, you know. you can lose loved ones, you can have things happen to you that knock you down and you have to recover and rebuild. But I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about those people. I'm just talking about people who just

You know, you know, and and then, you know, they always have something to say. But instead of always having something to say, I need to always have something to do. So I found my thing at age fifty. I don't know what I'm gonna be doing at age fifty-five or sixty, but I hope to find a new thing then at fifty five. I hope to find another thing at sixty, and so it goes until I'm up on out of here, because that's what makes me excited.

always having something to look forward to. And I actually really was looking forward to having this conversation with you guys today. And I'm looking forward to editing this video today. I don't know. It's it sounds silly, but it's it brings me joy, right? And it's it's something that is just more than pouring myself into work or pouring myself into maybe my children that I don't have

That some of us do instead of giving some love back to ourselves or pouring ourselves into the job or pouring ourselves into our partners, you know, it's it's pouring into us. What is it that you want to do? So remember those five things as you decide how you want to pivot into joy. And that's it. That's all I have. So again, if you like this message, please like, please share, please subscribe to the podcast.

I would love it. Leave me a comment and I will see you in the next video.